Advent microstories: day 9
The prince sat nervously on the horse’s back, waving shyly at the throngs of people lining the streets. There was cheering and dancing and embracing, and the prince thought he’d never seen such joy in his life. He felt quite self-conscious of his singed hose and torn doublet, and he was very aware that a week in a dragon’s lair had left him looking shabby and unshaven. However, as they rode on, he became increasingly aware that nobody was looking at him.
In front of him on the saddle, the princess waved confidently at her adoring subjects, and caught the flowers and favours they threw. She received their kind wishes and compliments (the phrases “so brave!”, “such strength!”, and “previously unthinkable agency!” caught the prince’s ear) with a gracious smile and grateful eyes.
Once inside the castle grounds, the princess halted the horse and leapt off. She unbuckled her sword and gave her helmet and gauntlets to her squire, before she helped the prince down from the horse and placed him on the ground.
“Well”, she said, “that’s you back! Safe and sound. How are you feeling?”
The prince blushed. “I’m fine, thank you. That was quite a reception.”
“I’m really pleased!” she smiled, allowing the squire to unfasten her armour. “It was wonderful to have a quest, and I really think I might have tipped the balance in my favour for inheriting the kingdom! But, the main thing is that you’re back in one piece. Now, I’ll get the castle healer to have a look at your burns, and there will be loads of food in the kitchens. We do this really delicious hot drink made out of leaves, you’ve got to try it. And the, once you’re rested, I’ll get some soldiers to accompany you back to your own kingdom.”
The prince swallowed and looked at his shoes. “Thanks. Um, I was wondering, though…”
Just then, the squire took the princess’s sword. “Oh Danny, please can you give that a really good clean? The dragon’s blood will make it rust otherwise. Actually, better send a few of the guys to the dragon’s lair to collect a couple of bottles of the blood, I’m sure the healers will want some of it. And while they’re out there, I met some amazing dwarfs who really helped me out, they live in caves under the mountains. Can you send them some really good shields and daggers? They need all the help they can get. Thanks.”
She looked back at the prince. “What’s up? Listen, you did really well today, holding on to the back of the horse all that distance. And as for that brilliant effort you made to stay out of the way while I was fighting off that enchanted eagle swarm, well, you can definitely give yourself a pat on the back for that, Steven.”
“It’s Stefan”, said the prince.
“Prince Stefan, I’m really sorry, of course it is. So, let’s find someone to get you home safely.”
The prince blinked. This wasn’t how he’d expected it to end. He’d been to hell and back in the last month, getting kidnapped and sold and dragged around the countryside, then waiting out the long days and nights in that miserable dragon’s lair, befriending that mouse, and eating only dragon earwax and skin shavings. When the Princess had rescued him he’d felt sure that a wedding awaited, along with the union of their two great kingdoms. She was, after all, utterly gorgeous.
“I thought…”, he stammered. “I thought…” The prince took a deep breath, summoned up his courage and tried to remember who he was. He dropped to one knee.
“Princess, you are brave and faithful and strong, and I believe that together our great nations and our hearts could soar for generations. Would you do me the honour of being my bride?”
“No thanks. Up you get, now.” She took him by the hand and he found himself instantly righted.
“But – “
“Dear Stefan, you’re very nice, and it’s been lovely to spend some time with you. But in the last week I’ve persuaded my father to let me go on a quest – or at least, I’ve let my father think that he’s let me go on a quest; I’ve traversed the highlands and all it’s dangers; I’ve made allies out of a historically hostile tribe of dwarfs, got along famously with the Hecate I found in a cottage, killed a dragon and made it home to a warm welcome from the people of my father’s kingdom. I think that’s quite enough, don’t you?”
The prince blinked again. “But you set out to rescue me, didn’t you? Why would you do that if you didn’t want to marry me?”
“Why? For adventure! For fun! To prove that I could – personal development and self-actualisation! The journey, the quest – that’s what it’s all about, not the end but the journey! You getting kidnapped, well, that got me out of the house, yes, but I never meant – gosh, I’m sorry if you thought, well, I feel quite bad about that now. But really, it was never about you. I would have rescued any prince, really. And besides, how could we get married? We only met on Wednesday.”
“I see”, said the Prince. His eyes welled up and stared at his shoes.
“Look, Danny here is going to sort you out with a lovely horse. It’s been marvellous to meet you, it really has. Maybe we’ll run into each other again some time.”
She shook his hand and ran off towards the castle. “Dad! I’m back!”
The prince shuffled off behind the squire with a heavy heart. He hoped that at least there would be something more filling the dragon’s earwax for him to eat.
Tea is my typewriter 